Without knowing your exact use-case, my approach would be to define a new scope property, e.g. play : "="
(to set it to stop when the video ends), and $observe attrs.play
or $scope.$watch "play"
it. In your template you bind it to a $scope variable that is triggered by the controller.
<video-item play="videoControls.play"></video-item>
Here's a plunker where you use two-way binding, note how you don't have to do anything:
http://plnkr.co/edit/3OI801KcvYVoySDvcm8i?p=preview
If you want to allow expressions, you have to observe the attribute to get the interpolated value: